New Beginnings. Chapter 23: Don't Worry, They Say.

Well hi there. I've come to a conclusion about my new stories that I'm writing. I'm in the process of writing another story and I've made a trailer for that, and I'll be posting that one on this blog. As for blurred perfection, the sequel will be on the other blog. The trailer for my new story will be up tonight, so be sure to check my channel!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

I got into our hotel room and took off my jacket and laid in bed, still fully clothed. I could tell that Justin was going to be home soon, but for now I wanted to be alone.

I grabbed my phone and clicked the button on top. It was frozen, thousands of messages flowing in at once. No, not this, please tell me that Justin's fans hadn't gotten my number.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 1ST, 2013

12:30AM

'You're a slut!'

'I wish you would just die'

'Please do us all a favor and kill yourself'

'Justin should break your heart and date someone who would be worth his time'.

I stared at the messages before me, the ones that were frozen on the screen of my phone. I couldn't take my eyes off of all of these messages from random numbers. They really hated me. The feeling I had in my body was fear, pain. These people hated me and right now, I hated me too.

I just felt like disappearing and never returning. I couldn't explain how I felt, to anybody. It was just terrifying, the things these people said to me.

I threw my phone on the floor and turned on my side and pulled the blankets over my whole body. I just cried my eyes out. I couldn't hold anything in anymore like I had been before. These people literally made me feel like I was dead already, just with their words. I didn't even bother pulling myself together until I heard the hotel door open. I sniffled one last time and  wiped my tears on the blanket. I quickly wiped my makeup from my cheek onto my sleeve and sat up.

Justin eased the bedroom door open and popped his head in. He saw me and took a deep breath before pushing the door open and walking in. He sat down on the bed and stared at me. My jaw was shaking and my eyes were swollen from tears. I could barely speak up.

"You're mad at me for leaving, I know. I'm so sorry Justin, I just- I can't do this anymore." I said.

"You've been crying.." Justin said grabbing my chin and turning my face towards him.

He turned his head and looked at the ground. I could tell that he spotted my phone right away. He sighed and turned back towards me. He scooted closer to me and put his arm around me, making me want to cry even more.

"I told you not to look at their tweets." he said.

"Justin, it wasn't tweets. They got my number, I have thousands of messages on my phone right now and it's frozen." I explained.

He grabbed my phone and inspected it. It was frozen on different messages now, not that they were any better than the ones before.

"I'm so sorry, we'll get your number changed and we'll-"

"Justin stop. I-I just need some time by myself."

"I'll stay in Fredo's room tonight-"

"Not like that... Justin I need to go home. I miss my family, my friends, my normal life. I can't handle this right now, I think we should take a break."

Justin looked away and I could see the pain in his eyes. I just couldn't do this anymore, I didn't know if he understood, but hopefully he would eventually. Silence filled the room and I felt like a weight was being out on my shoulders so that I couldn't move. I knew that this burden wouldn't be disappearing anytime soon too.

"I-"

"No, no need to explain. This is my life and I get that it's too much. This is why nothing in my life is ever normal." Justin said.

I could tell that he was really upset now too. He was blaming himself for a decision that I made. And he was blaming his career, and that was never good. When he blamed his career, it was like he stopped working completely. He stopped writing every night, he started becoming another person, just because of one thing. And I didn't want that one thing being me this time, but I couldn't help it.

"It's not your fault, this is my decision. It's whats needed for me to get through this."

"Of course it's my fault. I just wanted a normal relationship with the girl that I loved, but it'll never be like that and everyone will just end up leaving, like they always have."

I felt absolutely horrible. I was causing Justin pain because I was in pain. Now I just wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him that it wasn't about him. I just needed my own time right now, away from this. It wasn't about him or anything about his career, it was just me. How could I explain that it was me, just me? Justin was tearing himself apart on the inside because he thought he was going to lose me.

"It's just a break, nothing more. I just need to see my family and go back to school." I explained.

"Yeah, then the break turn's into breaking up, I know how this'll work out. Why don't you just brake up with me now and get it over with? It won't be as much pain for the both of us later."

Tears started streaming down my face. Justin wasn't looking at me, luckily, because we were both hurt too much. He had absolutely no emotion placed on his face, just a strong stare at absolutely nothing. I couldn't handle this pain anymore, I had to do something to stop him from doing something he'd regret later.

"I'd never break up with you, I have no reason to."

"Because of my career, that's why."

We both stood up and were staring at each other from each side of the bed. Justin looked more pissed than I'd ever seen him before. It's like his sadness transformed into anger just like that. He wasn't even showing any sign of remorse or sadness, just anger.

"No, I love you for who you are, not for what you do."

"Then why are you leaving?"

I was hit. Just like that. How do I reply to that? He really thought that I was leaving because of his career. It wasn't exactly that, it was different reasons too. I couldn't explain why, he wouldn't understand. He didn't know what it was like to just be taken away from your family like that without getting to see them. He didn't know what it was like to be ripped away from your best friends and have no connection with them. All I had was his crew, his family, him.

"Because, I have a life too! I have a family and people that I love, I'd like to see them at some point! This is exactly why I didn't want to come with you in the first place!" I yelled.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have!" he snapped back.

I stood with my fists clenched and my jaw tense. I couldn't believe that he had just said that. He pretty much said that maybe we shouldn't be together. Maybe that's what he wanted after all. To not be with me anymore. That's sure how I was perceiving it. I couldn't believe his words, I just wanted to disappear again and not come back.

I tried blinking away my tears, but they just fell to my cheeks. Justin saw and right away I could tell that he felt horrible about his actions. But he couldn't take it back now, it was too late for that.

"I didn't mean that-"

"Stop, okay? Just stop."

I grabbed my phone from the bed and slipped my jacket back on. I began walking out of the bedroom and Justin tried stopping me by grabbing my arm. I whipped my arm away and turned to look at him.

"(YN) please..."

I turned and headed towards the door. Justin had gone way too far and now I didn't know what to think of him. Just before opening the door, I turned around one last time to face him.

"It's like you only realize that you cause pain when you see it. Did you ever think that maybe before I cried I was in pain too?"

I turned the knob of the door and walked out in the hall, quickly shutting the door behind me. I didn't know where to go, so I headed to the nearest person that I knew.

I went down a floor and ran down the hall. I was hoping for once that Justin hasn't followed me. I knocked on the door, hoping that it was the right one, and waited for an answer. Just as the door opened, I inhaled deeply and felt relieved that it was the right person I was looking for.

"Fredo, can I stay here tonight?" I asked.

"Y-Yeah, sure, come in." he stuttered.

I walked inside and heard the door shut behind me. Fredo quickly followed behind me and sat across from me on the couches. He had obviously been just chilling and watching tv, because he had a little plate of snacks on the table and the tv on. He turned the volume down immediately and turned back towards me.

"Are you hungry?" He asked as he gestures towards the plate.

I barely smiled and shook my head no.

"You can take my bed tonight, I'll stay here." he said.

I was kind of glad that he didn't ask about what happened, because I didn't feel like talking about it. I knew that eventually he would want to know, but not now. 

"Thanks, for all of this really."

"Anytime, you should get some sleep now."

I gave him a smile and stood up and headed towards the bedroom. Good thing it was the same layout as me and Justin's hotel, because then things were easier to find.

I took off my jacket and being that I was so tired, I just fell asleep in my clothes. I didn't bring pajamas anyways, so either way I didn't care. I cuddled up into a ball and tried to take my mind off of things. Although with everything I thought about, it included Justin.

*JUSTIN'S POV*

A few minutes after she left, I realized the real damage I had just done. Why did I have to be stupid enough to say such things to her? I was just so upset that she was leaving, that I pushed her away even farther. And plus, I had no idea where she went. Well it couldn't have been very far, she 10,000 miles away from home with none of her stuff.

I sat in our bed, resting my elbows on my knees while I covered my face with my hands. I was so dumb sometimes. Just then, I heard my phone ring and I immediately grabbed it and answered it, hoping that it was her.

"Hello? (YN)?" I said.

"Close, it's Fredo. I just called to tell you that (YN)'s staying with me for the night."

I felt a bit of relief of hearing her name from someone else. And she obviously hadn't told him what happened, it would've taken longer than that.

"Can I come and talk to her?"

"She's sleeping bro, maybe tomorrow. But I'm gonna go to bed now too, just don't worry too much."

"Yeah, sure." I said sarcastically.

I hung up the phone just after that and set it down beside me. How could I not worry? My girlfriend was gone and I was probably the most hated person in her world right now. I could barely even get my thoughts straight, let alone not worry. Everyone always told me not to worry, that everything would be alright. What I you know that nothing will be alright?

I laid down and closed my eyes. Maybe sleeping would take my mind off of things. Although with everything I thought about, it included (YN).

What do you think will happen next?

-Ana.