Found: 26: I'm Sorry.

Well hi guys! It's nice to talk to you once again! I mean it's been like a whole day!? Lol anyways, I just wanted to say thank you to all of the people who left comments and thank you for supporting me but this is about you and for you so let's not get off track, okay?(; but thanks it means a lot. Hereeesss da next chapter!

This time I'll ask for... 8 comments?(; you can do it!

Chapter 26:

Thursday, November 8th, 2012

1:00pm

 

I woke up to the sun shining brightly into my eyes from the slit through my curtains. I squinted as I stared right into the bright light. I put my hand in front of my face and stood to block any more light from coming in. I sat back down on my bed, looks like I wasn’t going to get anymore sleep. Yes, I slept until one in the afternoon, but that was only because sleeping was where I didn’t feel pain.

And now I had to wake up to a destroyed house with a dysfunctional family and a crack head of a mom. Life just sounded great for me, right? Not. I wanted it all to end badly, and the only thing keeping me alive was the thought of Justin. I constantly had him on my mind and he was the only thought that kept suicide second in line.

He hadn’t called me since Monday, which was also the last time I went to school. I wasn’t brave enough to face any of those people right now, or ever. The only way I’d go to school is if the police forced me out of my own house and dragged me there.

Something new in my life was a little site called tumblr. I literally went on it all day and kept my mind thinking of more positive things besides death. It was of course a private blog for me, so no one knew that it was exactly me yet. And it was awesome, because I had thousands of followers already. They kept me happy while I posted things about suicide constantly.

I set my laptop aside and grabbed my phone. Not a good idea. Hate messages, once again. I didn’t bother to read any, because I knew that I’d just get hurt in the end.

Instead, I decided to see how my mom was doing. Of course, she was probably sleeping, drinking, or doing drugs. Or both of the last two I mentioned.

I walked downstairs, expecting my sisters to run up to me, but they didn’t. They were gone, and I was still getting used to it. I saw my mom sitting on the couch, leaning over and doing the only thing I didn’t want to see.

“Stop!” I yelled as I tackled her to the ground and snatched the needle from her hand.

I sat over her with tears in my eyes. This wasn’t the only time we’d gotten in fights over her doing drugs and drinking, it was probably about the tenth time if not twentieth.

“Get the hell off of me you bitch!” she yelled as she struggled from underneath me.

I sat on the ground with the needle in my hand and tears streaming down my face as my mom stood in front of me with an angry face.

“Give me it.” she sternly pleaded.

“No! I’m not going to let you do this to yourself!” I fought back as I stood- well sat my ground on the floor.

She looked left and right. Like she was searching for something. I watched her grab a box and run into the bathroom where she locked the door. I ran after her, but it was no use seeing I couldn’t get in.

“Don’t you care!?” I yelled from the other side of the door.

I couldn’t hear anything but my mother’s quiet sobs. It wasn’t just painful for her; it was painful for me too. I gave up after sometime and dropped the needle on the ground, leaving it lay there as I went to my room. I checked my laptop tumblr again. I had a few hundred more followers, yay. I say that in the most monotone voice ever, too.

I decided to make another video, my last video. These pats days had been so hard and I had nobody to talk to so I decided to get my emotions out by making videos. Of course, I kept them in a file on my desktop on my computer so that they were convenient but secret. But this was the last one, and I was just praying that maybe one day someone would find these.

I slammed my laptop shut and put on some different clothing. It was freezing outside, so this would be perfect. I left everything behind; my phone, my laptop, my life. I headed downstairs to find my mom out of the bathroom and sitting on the couch crying yet again. I took a deep breath and she turned as she heard me.

“(YNN) I’m so sorry about everything. I promise I’ll quit all of this I just want my family back.” She said as she sniffled.

“Do you not understand what you’ve done to me? You can’t just say sorry and think it’s okay, because it’s not. I can’t live like this, so I’m leaving this house, and this life.”

I shook my head when she didn’t bother to respond and I left the house without any shoes on. I walked down the empty street at 1:00am, waiting for happiness, waiting for peace. Eventually, this pain and heartache in my chest would disappear and everything would be okay once again. If only Justin knew that he was the one that kept me alive while I still was.

 

(Justin’s POV)

 

I was late on my flight because of all of my work, but I finally got a flight to Minnesota. It was already midnight when I arrived so I knew that I might be late. To think that I could even be just a second late, hurt. I missed (YN) so much and I had no idea what I could do if I lost her.

I got a ride to Payton and Kendall’s house where Payton promised to give me a ride to her mom’s house. I didn’t exactly have a car here, so I had to get a ride. I arrived at their apartment building and walked inside; making sure no one saw me. I knocked on the correct door and Taylor answered, hugging my legs tightly making me smile. She looked so similar to (YN) that it hurt me. I looked up to see Payton already waiting with her keys in her hand and her fur coat on. I nodded and let her lead me out to her car. There were no words on the way to her car and I was hoping that the ride would be different.

In the car, there was a faint noise of music streaming from the radio. It was calming and made em think of better things in life. That was until one of (YN)’s songs came on. I could tell that we both felt uncomfortable.

“I’ll change it.” I weakly spoke.

“No,” Payton said as she stopped my hand from reaching any farther, “it’s fine.”

I nodded and we let it play. When we arrived at (YN)’s house, I was struggling to keep it together. We walked up to the door and just walked inside, finding her mom sobbing on the couch. She stood up immediately when she saw us and began to cry more.

“Where’s (YN)?” Payton asked right away.

“Who knows? In fact, who cares? That little bitch is out there trying to get attention by threatening to ‘commit suicide’.”

My automatic reaction was grabbing Payton and holding her back from tackling her mom and beating her. She struggled in my arms while she screamed harsh words at her own mother and cried her eyes out.

“Please, Payton.” I begged her to calm down.

She finally fell to the ground in a fit of tears. It just hit me after minutes, that (YN) was or may be dead right now. She’s out there, trying to kill herself, and I needed to stop her. I needed to find out where she was.

I ran up to her room in search of any clues of where she could possibly go. I found her phone and her laptop lying on her bed. Her phone was filled with ate messages which at the moment I left alone. I grabbed her laptop and opened it up and logged in.

There was a video left up, and it was of her. I clicked play immediately and watched as she tried holding herself together as she spoke.

“Well, I’m (YN) (YLN) and everyone hates me. And I don’t know why, but maybe I do, because now I hate me too. And I don’t know who to go to or what to do anymore, so I’ve come to my last resort... One last thing before I leave though, is I want my boyfriend Justin to know that I love him and he's my world. Justin, you kept me alive while I still was. But I guess this is it, bye.”

My bottom lip quivered and my hands were shaky as I stood up straight and searched her room. I threw things to the floor looking for any signs, but it was odd because I felt something. I couldn't explain it but I knew where she was. I ran downstairs and stopped by Payton’s side, holding up her chin to look at me.

“Listen, I need you to stay calm, I’m going to find your sister.”

She barely nodded before I stood up and ran out of the door. I ran as far as I could down the street, not caring that my breath was running dangerously low. I was running for seconds, minutes, I couldn’t tell. I could’ve been running for miles, but I was only focused on getting there.

When I arrived, my eyes searched the bridge for (YN)’s petite figure. Finally, my eyes landed on a stick thin dark shadow in the distance. I slowly inched forward, trying to see if this was really her, if this was really real…

“(YN)?” my voice weakly spoke.

A light flickered and she slowly turned towards me. I was getting closer now, and so was she. I felt as if I got any closer now, she’d let go and fall backwards into the harsh waters. Once she hit them, the rocks beneath the surface would pierce her back and she’d be gone just like that.

I could hear her teeth chattering from how far I was away. She was freezing; only wearing a tank top and shorts without any shoes on. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and make sure that she’s warm. Snow began to fall lightly and we both looked up. After a few seconds, I watched her extend her arms and she mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’.

I ran as fast as possible and reached out, just barely grabbing her hands and pulling her back into me. I grabbed around her waist as we both fell to the ground and I held her tightly against my body. I could feel her cold skin against mine and it sent shivers down my spine.

I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her small body, giving her some protection from the winter coldness. She struggled with her thin arms and tried pushing me away, but after some time she gave up and gave in to me. She sobbed into my shirt and repeated the same phrase over and over.

“I just wanna die.”

A few tears fell from my eyes and I closed my eyes, finally feeling safe again. She may have been suicidal and diagnosed with depression, but I still loved her and nothing would change that.

It surprised me when the sobs stopped and she fell asleep in my arms. She was so tired that she gave up and stopped. I swallowed hard, seeing her so peaceful. She looked happy in her sleep.

I picked her up as I stood myself and cared her all the way back to her house. The sun was already rising as I walked, and I was afraid that she’d wake up, but she didn’t. She just laid peacefully in my arms and shivered away.

Found: 25: The Waiting Game.

Hii guys! I just got done reading you're comments so let's talk about them... First of all, these few upcoming chapters may be a little sad just so you know. I'm giving you a heads up. And also, someone mentioned that if I post late people won't be interested? Something to that extent. Well anyways speaking of that, i actually haven't been posting late, I've been posting every other day like I said. And if you guys would give me time, you'd understand! But either way, I've decided to go back to my normal routine of posting errrday before I go to bed! So I will be back to that routine tomorrow night! But here's ya go, here's da next chapter!

Few pointers or things I'd like to say is...

- these next chapters WILL be sad.

- I thought it'd make it interesting okay? I'm sorry of you don't like it... It'll be over soon though!

- if you don't like these chapters, please keep reading): it'll get better i promise ladies!

- I want people to be aware that this is real, the stuff that happens in the next few chapters. It's been happening to me lately and I want more people to be aware that it is happening.

10 comments for next chapter?(:

Chapter 25:

Monday, November 5th, 2012

1:00pm

“Scooter it’s been two days since I’ve talked to her. TWO DAYS!” I yelled as I paced back and forth dialing her number constantly.

It rang and rang each time but no answer. It was like she had been ignoring me, trying to forget what we had. I doubt that she would ever do that, but I don’t know what had gotten into her. Today was her first day of school back, and I needed to make sure that she was okay while she was there. I was scared for her, and there was no way I could help because I was 1000 miles away in Washington D.C.

“Justin she’ll call you, it’s only two days. She’s probably just trying to get her things together while she’s at home.”

“She’s depressed Scooter. You don’t understand what she’s capable of, and when I asked her to promise me that she wouldn’t hurt herself, she told me that she couldn’t. She could do something to… end her life. She’s in danger of herself.”

“I c-can’t do anything. I fell horrible, but her mom won’t allow either of us near her. Who knows what she’ll do, but I’m trying my hardest to get (YN) back with us, I just have to find out how.”

“Can’t she legally go to her dad?” I pleaded.

“I’ve been looking for her dad, but I don’t know who or where he is.”

I finally sat down and buried my face in my hands. How in the world was I going to make things better now? I had to somehow get to (YN) before she did anything drastic. I couldn’t live with knowing that she could do such things to herself.

“What if I go to her house? What can her mom do?” “Have you removed from her property by the police-“

“But her mom’s a drunk and is abusing drugs, there has to be a way that we can get those girls out of that house.”

“Girls? There’s more than one?”

“Yeah, her two younger sisters Taylor and Kelsey, 5 and 8- wait… can’t her older sisters take custody?”

“There are a lot of factors to take custody of two children Justin, it’s not easy.”

“I’ll find a way.”

I left the room and went to my bedroom of the tour bus. I immediately contacted Kendall, (YN)’s oldest sister. I had her number from the time that (YN) borrowed my phone to call her. I talked to her about everything and she said that she’d been trying to find a way for a while now and she’d been talking to authorities. She told me how she could get custody of only Taylor and Kelsey because she was unfit for more than two. I was worried about (YN), but I knew that I’d find a way to get her back.

I called (YN) once more to see if she’d answer, but just her voicemail. I was upset that she wasn’t answering yet again. I sat down again, wondering what she could be doing at the moment.

 

(Your POV)

 

You’re a whore… Oh, look who’s back… Ew, I can’t believe I have to sit next to it… Look, it looks like the losers crying again!... Kill yourself…

Everyone’s words jumbled in my head as I shuffled me feet across the floor and out of the doors. It was like no one cared, oh wait, no one did. I buckled up in my car and pulled out of the driveway, heading back to hell. I thought about Justin, and how much he’d called throughout the day. I had about 57 missed calls, just from him. But how could I answer and pretend that everything was okay when it isn’t?

I could take the easy way out, I thought as I drove down the highway. There is a red stop light up ahead in the distance, I can see it as clear as day. The cars zoomed by from my left and from my right. Should I do it? Should I let myself be at peace again? I pressed the gas pedal farther down and farther… and farther, until I collided with a semi, coming from my left.

I shot back to reality and pulled up to the red stop light. The cars drove by and my thoughts went away. Instead, I could only think of Justin. I missed him, and knowing that he was trying to get ahold of me every minute of the day, kept me holding on just a little longer each day. It’d only been two days, yeah, but in those two days things had only gotten worse. Kendall and Payton, yeah, I hadn’t heard from them since I got back. They must not care very much, that I was dying inside.

I pulled in my driveway and grabbed my backpack before heading inside. My mom was sitting on the couch, drowning herself in her own tears. I glanced around, searching for my little Taylor. She usually ran to my feet and hugged me, but not today.

“Where’s Taylor and Kelsey?” I weakly asked my mom.

She turned to me with the same look as a few days ago, “She took them. Kendall came and took my babies away from me. I have no one left now.”

I felt sharp pains in my chest. Kendall came and took them but not me? I didn’t understand, and I guess I never would seeing that I was stuck here. I tried making my way past my mom up to my room, but she stood up and turned towards me, causing me to stop in my tracks.

“You did this. This is your fault! You made me lose custody and you ruined my life! You little bitch.”

She slapped me right across the face and I let the pain engulf my face. I tried hiding more tears from coming, but it was hard when she was like this.

“I don’t love you, and I never will. If I could, I get rid of you in a heartbeat. You aren’t worth anything to anyone anymore.”

“You know what? I don’t love me either. If I get rid of myself too, I would. You don’t understand and you never will. I’m done trying to be your daughter.”

She backed away slightly and I turned on my heel and headed upstairs. She yelled after me, trying to stop me and trying to apologize, but I truly was done. I couldn’t handle her anymore, and I couldn’t handle me anymore either.

I walked slowly into my bathroom and ran myself a bath. Once the water turned off, I stripped myself of any clothing and stepped in the steaming hot water. It was like once I was in, I was falling, drowning. The water was my escape, because it made me feel as if I had no worried left in life. It was beautiful, yet painful. I left myself fall into a deep, deep sleep.

When I awoke again, it was to my ringing phone on the bathroom counter. The water was freezing cold now from being in so long. My fingertips were wrinkly as I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel. I checked my phone, only a few missed calls from Justin. I couldn’t call back though; I had no energy to anymore.

I fell to my knees and held my phone in my hands. Maybe some fans could cheer me up on twitter or something? I checked my twitter, waiting for the app to fully open up and refresh.

My timeline wasn’t filled with what I wanted it to be filled with though. I forgot, I didn’t follow barely any fans, only people from my school.

Watch her not come to school tomorrow… I can’t believe she even came back… Hey you, you’re a fucking whore… Please kill yourself, thanks… Watch her commit suicide tonight, that’d be pretty funny…

Nothing that I wanted to see was there… It made me feel useless, once again. And when I laid in bed that night, I curled up into a ball and cried for hours. And hours. And hours. Only because I didn’t have the strength to take my own life.

(Justin’s POV)

I felt my heart hurting as I sang the words of each song. I wondered again if this is what (YN) was feeling, and what she was doing. After the concert, I barely stayed in the arena for a minute before I was back to my phone on the bus. But this time I wasn’t calling her, I was checking in on her. She had posted on Instagram, but it wasn’t what I wanted to see. It was a picture of her crying, at school, from someone else’s point of view. Someone else must’ve taken it, but she added the caption. I tried to get better, to get over this, to forget it all, and move on, and I thought I was getting to the point where I could say ‘wow I’m feeling a lot better’. But right now, I couldn’t feel any worse.

I broke into pieces on the inside, wondering what was going through her head at this exact moment. I threw my phone onto the ground and opened the door, finding Scooter just entering the bus.

“Scooter I have to go to her. She’s hurting, and I have to help her.”

“Justin… you have to wait until Wednesday when we film the VS Fashion show. Then go. Can you wait?” Scooter breathed out.

“I’ll have to. I’m just hoping that she can.”

Found: 24: The Last Time.

Hii guys. Here;s da next chapter! I know that you're all asking for Jerry(; and he will come eventually. But if you know me, you know that i'm horrible at writing dirty stuff so I never write it! I hope you understand my complications because that's pretty much all I have to say today. Anyways, expect another post in a few days or maybe even tomorrow if you guys comment.
How about you leave 10 comments and i'll get the chappy ASAP?(:
Oh and BTW 17 comments on the last one? You guys are awesome I love you people.

Chapter 24:

Saturday, November 3rd, 2012 

4:00PM 

  

“I’d like everyone to give a big welcome to (YN) (YLN)!” Ellen yelled as she stood up. 

Everyone in the audience stood up and clapped along with Ellen. I walked in my planned outfit and smiled to the audience while my song played. I laughed as I hugged Ellen and waved to the crowd before taking my seat. We had to wait a few minutes for the crowd to quiet down before we could begin! It was funny how loud they were. 

“Isn’t everyone glad that I finally got an interview with the famous (YN) (YLN)!?” Ellen asked the crowd. 

They screamed once more and I blushed and laughed. She turned back towards me and we began talking about the simple things. 

“You’re so busy being on tour, it must be a crazy schedule. How are you?” She asked. 

“I’m doing great! A few minor problems, but I’m great.” 

“That’s good! Speaking of that tour how is it?” 

I laughed thinking of all of the memories of the tour so far, and many to come, before replying, “It’s honestly the best thing ever! I’ve met so many new people and just being around them is always a fun time!” 

“Sounds like a fun time, especially with the Bieber crew, right?” 

I laughed and nodded my head as she smiled at me. 

“And your birthday was just a few days ago, right?” she asked again. 

“Yep!” 

“And I’m sure most of us have an idea of what you did for that…” 

As she spoke pictures of me and Justin popped up on the screen behind us. I blushed just seeing us together. It was a little tiny slideshow and we watched it. There were actually a lot of cute photos there. 

“Yeah, I was keeping it simple this year. No parties, just having a calm 17th birthday.” I laughed. 

“Spending it with your boyfriend Justin, we see.” She laughed. 

“Yep!” 

I didn’t want to get to into the subject of Justin, but I knew that we would. I knew our boundaries for our relationship and I knew that Ellen wouldn’t go past them. She was an amazing person and I knew what was going to come from her next. 

“You’re expecting this next thing aren’t you,” I nodded, “Now we are going to have a Bieber segment for the first time on the show! We’re going to let the audience ask questions about Justin or (YCN). Nothing to personal, but make sure it’s something we wanna know.” 

Lots of teenage girls were in the audience, so I had a feeling that this would be interesting. I smiled as Ellen told me to pick a girl from the audience as they all raised their hands. I squinted like I was thinking, before choosing a girl relatively my age in the audience. 

“I was wondering what Justin got you for your birthday.” She said shakily. 

“Actually, Justin got me this necklace,” I said as I grabbed the J in my hands and twirled it between my fingers, “for my birthday.” 

She sat down and I picked the next girl who began speaking, “Is it hard to date a celebrity and not a normal person?” 

I thought about it for a second while she sat down and waited for my answer. I’d actually been asked this before and I always had the same answer. 

“Okay this might turn into a story but I’m gonna be totally honest! I don’t consider Justin as a celebrity really, he is a normal person. It’s no different than dating someone who’s not famous, because Justin is probably the dorkiest normal person I know of. He doesn’t act like a celebrity around me, so pretty much think of it as a normal relationship.” 

I realized after I said that, that it was a long answer. But people need to understand that dating Justin is no different than dating someone infamous. Like honestly, Justin’s a pretty normal boy to me. 

“Last question, what’s Justin like before concerts and on the tour bus?” 

I laughed before beginning, “Justin is… he’s hard to explain. He’s very fun to be around and he’s always happy. He always thinks of the most random things to do and he always is pranking everyone. It’s not a normal week if he hasn’t pranked someone as least once.” 

Everyone clapped for me and we went to commercial. I talked to Ellen and the crowd while the cameras were off for a few minutes before I had to leave. I really was expecting different questions, but I guess not. 

  

I turned off the TV after watching my segment on Ellen. I couldn’t help but smile and turn to Justin. I had filmed that yesterday and it just aired today. I was expecting some good reviews from my first interview with Ellen, right? I was back on the tour bus with everyone on tour, but only Justin and I watched it together. 

“Happy?” I said to Justin about talking good about him. 

“Very. You looked so cute while you giggled and blushed.” Justin laughed. 

“Shut up!” I giggled as I hit his chest playfully. 

I stood up and scratched my head. My hair was a completely mess but I could honestly care less around Justin anymore. I grabbed his hands and tried to drag him off of the couch, but he wouldn’t budge. I could tell that he was pulling back and I couldn’t help but make a pouty face as he laughed at me. 

“Come on Justin, you’re being difficult!” I yelled. 

He laughed at me and I let go when I heard a knock on the bedroom door. I looked from Justin to the doorway then back to Justin. It was probably just Fredo asking what we wanted for dinner. Justin sat up and I skipped towards the door.

“Scooter!? What are ya doing?” I said as I opened the door. 

“Um, (YN),” His eyes flickered behind me to what I knew was Justin, “Can I talk to you? Alone?” 

I nodded because he seemed worried. We went to the other part of the bus, leaving Justin in the bedroom. Seeing Scooter worried, made me worried because I felt like something was wrong. Scratch that, I knew that something was wrong.

“So what’s up?” I said as I sat on the counter.

“I really don’t want to do this, and I hope that you won’t hate me for it, but I have to bring you home.” 

I laughed, “That’s fine, and I kinda miss my family. When will I come back here? What’s the whole schedule?”

“There is no schedule kiddo. I mean, I have to take you home and you won’t be coming back, at all. Your mom still has full custody over you and she somehow twisted in the law when you left. You’re still under 18 years of age, so you have to do what she says. And she is making me do this. You have to leave and break up with Justin. I-I’m so sorry.”

I felt my heart drop in my chest. Break up with Justin? That- that couldn’t happen. I couldn’t do that, and I couldn’t leave here. Scooter explained things further into detail, telling me that my mom’s exact words were ‘If she can’t obey me, then I’ll take everything away.’. He also told me that this was the end of my career, most likely. Unless I went on without Justin, that’s also what my mom said. She was trying to make me miserable…

“Listen, your mom told me to cancel everything for you, but if it makes you feel better I’ve only postponed any further plans we’ve made for you. I don’t want to do this, and I hope you know that-“ 

“I do. I just, I have to talk to Justin.”

I left the room and found Justin waiting patiently to talk to me. I told him everything. He looked emotionless, yet I knew that he was broken inside. I could feel it inside me too.

“Don’t do this to me (YN).” He begged me.

“I don’t have a choice Justin. But listen,” I grabbed his chin and made him look me in the eyes, “I will find a way to be with you, no matter what it takes. She can’t keep me away from you forever.” 

Soon after, I left. Neither of us said goodbye because we knew that it would hurt too much. So instead, we said ‘I love you’ and no other words. I sat in a flight back to my house, depressed, confused, sad. The only memory I had of Justin now was the ‘J’ necklace hanging on my neck. 

When my flight landed, I was picked up from the airport by Kendall, who could tell that I was very upset. I buckled up and stared out of the window the whole way home. There was small talk, but no actual conversations. When we pulled up into the driveway, I immediately went to open my door, but Kendall grabbed my arm and stopped me. 

“Listen, I know that you’re upset right now, and I want to help. Payton and I got an apartment together and if you ever need to come over you’re welcome. Mom’s literally gone crazy… drinking, drugs, I don’t know what’s gotten into her lately. Even our stepdad left. Just don’t let this get to you, okay?” 

I nodded slightly while looking into her eyes before looking away and getting my bags from the trunk. I slowly took them out with Kendall’s help and we brought them inside. Our journey up to the doorstep was fine, but when we opened the door, it wasn’t too great. The first greeting was my mom throwing a glass bottle at us, just missing my head by inches and crashing into the wall behind me. My heart was beating fast just laying eyes on her. Her messy hair, her tired eyes, the mascara smeared down her face from tears. I’d never seen her like this before. 

The house was a mess as I traveled through it to bring my bags to my room upstairs. I tried to drown out the world while I was in there, but I was interrupted by light knocks on my door. I yelled come in only to be surprised by my two little sisters Taylor and Kels. I sat up and smiled. They weren’t so happy though, they had tears down their cheeks within seconds. I held them both in my arms as we sat on my bed. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly. 

“Mommy.” Taylor sobbed. 

“Shh, everything’s okay guys. You guys can sleep here in my bed for now. Mommy will get better; she’s just lost right now. Do you guys want something to cheer you up?” I asked. 

They nodded and I pulled out my phone and found Justin’s contact. I pressed FaceTime and within seconds he answered. He smiled right away when he saw the two little girls on each of my side. They wiped away their tears and smiled for once. I let them talk to him for some time before they literally fell asleep in my arms. 

“So how is everything?” Justin asked me as we got back to the painful reality. 

“Not good. I was greeted by my mom with a bottle thrown at my head, if that explain things. If I don’t kill myself, she will.” 

“Hey, don’t talk like that. Things can’t be that bad.” 

“Justin, she’s drunk and doing drugs now. It is that bad… It doesn’t help that I have to go back to that school Monday. I can’t handle all of this pressure, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” I whispered. 

“Just promise me that you won’t do anything to harm yourself?” Justin worriedly asked. 

It was hard for me to say that I wouldn’t. With a life like this, who wouldn’t try to end it? Justin didn’t fully understand the extent of my problems. I looked away from the camera and thought about it. Obviously suicide thoughts had already crossed my head, and that wasn’t normal. I hadn’t even been here for a day; imagine how it was going to be after a week. 

“(YN) (YLN) look at me.” Justin begged. 

“No Justin. I can’t promise you anything, I-I’m sorry…” 

I pressed the end button and that was the last time I contacted Justin. 

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Found: 23: Birthday.

OMG guys guess what?! I'm BACCCKKK! And also guess what? This is the 600th post ish I think lol don't judge. It's around that number so in close enough. That's right, it is lol. Anyways, I'm posting once again because I'm finally home! I hope you guys are happy, because I am! I'll post this one and maybe another tonight if I get enough comments! And because I know that I haven't posted in a few days (SORRY)! I'm excited to get back to writing because I haven't' written in awhile and I'm going through withdrawal. Also, I've finally noticed that these chapters are kinda short? Anyone else noticing too? I'll start writing longgggeeeerrrrr chapters after these upcoming few because I made these ones kinda short... sorry again... Haha, but i'm done talking, here's da story!!

8 comments for next chapter?(:

Chapter 23: 

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012 

9:00am 

  

I squinted my eyes open to the sunlight peeking in through the curtains of the window. Today was the day, the day of my birthday. I told Justin not to do anything special, because I had something in mind. I rolled over to see his side of the bed empty, as I had usually seen it previous times before. I smiled, thinking that he’d be downstairs somewhere doing something odd. I crawled out of bed and slipped on my slippers before heading towards the stairs. I stopped in my tracks when I heard someone clicking their pen. I smiled and peeked through the crack of the door to Justin’s home studio. He looked much consumed in his writing as he scribbled words onto a sheet of paper and strummed on his guitar. I pushed the door open slowly and he looked up and glanced at me with a smile. 

“Good Morning baby.” He said as he set his pencil down and stood up to put his guitar in its stand. 

He walked over towards me and stood close to me, our chests just centimeters apart and his figure towering over mine. He stared into my eyes, brushing my hair behind my ear and kissing my forehead. I smiled and he dropped his hands down and put them around my waist, holding me closer to him. I leaned in as I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his, pecking them slightly every few seconds. He smiled in between kisses before picking me up, having me wrap my legs around his waist. We were face to face now, and finally the silence was broken by the soft words filling the room. 

“What were you working on?” I asked him quietly as I held my hands together behind his neck. 

“Just writing some new lyrics that came to me the past few nights.” 

I smiled and pecked his lips again. He laughed and I could understand why. He looked so stunning, his shirtless figure only wearing plaid pajama pants holding me up against his chest. His perfect smile, his messy hair, his caramel colored eyes… everything about him looked so perfect as I studied his features. I really did win with this boy, didn’t I? 

“What do you wanna do for your birthday? We can go anywhere, do anything, and see anything. It’s all up to you, it’s your day. You’re 17 now.” 

I giggled and began, “I actually want to show you something that I found while you were away.” 

“You want to show me something? But I’m supposed to take care of everything, you shouldn’t-“ 

“Justin it’s fine, I really want you to see this though.” 

He shrugged and set me down. I took his hand and lead him down the stairs, throughout the house, and out of the back doors towards the pool. He seemed kind of unwilling as we walked through the grass barefoot in our pajamas. 

“We aren’t even going to change?” he asked as he laughed slightly. 

“Nope, come on.” I giggled back. 

We walked through the thick trees and past everything. We were far away from civilization by now, and it was just a little bit farther. How I found this place? I have no idea. I just have a big imagination and a connection with nature. We brushed past one more cluster of bushes before we stepped into an open pasture of nature, surrounded by trees and animals and insects and plants. It was so beautiful. I let go of Justin’s hand and walked towards the middle of the small patch of land, spinning in a circle and taking in a fresh deep breath of air. 

“You found this?” Justin asked in awe as he looked around at everything. 

“Yeah.” I quietly said as I gracefully fell down in the grass, laying down and spreading out. 

Justin laid down next to me and took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers. I turned my head towards him and I couldn’t help but smile. His eyes sparkled from the bit of sun peeking through the thick trees and I could tell that he was amazed. He turned to me and smiled, his mouth left in an ‘o’ formation. 

“I have a connection with nature,” I said as I sat up and held out my finger, “everywhere I go, I seem to wander off and find places like these, and it amazes me every time.” 

Justin quietly watched as a monarch butterfly landed on my held out finger, fluttering its wings once more to settle itself in place. I giggled and slowly brought my hand up, letting the butterfly leap off and take flight yet again. I turned to Justin and his smile wasn’t there, but the amazement remained. I laughed and took his hand, holding it out and extending his finger. Eventually, another landed on his, but quickly flew off. He laughed and shook his head. 

“This is just so- breathtaking.” Justin said quietly. 

He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his elbows on them, hooking his fingers in front of him. I leaned against his shoulder, but quickly moved away when he stood up and held out a hand, helping me to my feet. I looked at him confused, but he looked down and reached in his pocket. I told him not to get me anything, but by the looks of his actions, he did. 

He held out a long skinny felt covered box in front of me, opening it slowly to reveal an alluring necklace before my eyes. I parted my lips slightly and stared at the piece of jewelry. Justin took my hand and spun me around, my back facing him. I automatically held my messy hair up as he dangled the necklace over me before placing it around my neck and letting it fall onto my chest. He hooked it in back and I let my hair fall to my shoulders, turning around and looking down. 

“It’s a J, so that you’ll never be without me even when you are. I know it’s not much but I just thought-“ 

I interrupted Justin by wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tightly. It took him a few seconds, but he finally put his arms around me and we stood swaying with the wind. I pulled away after a few minutes and smiled up at him, pecking his lips yet again. 

“(YN), I love you.” 

I looked into Justin’s eyes and I could tell that he was sincere. He just said that? I felt something inside of me, and it was odd, like I didn’t have control over my words anymore. It was me, but it wasn’t. 

“I love you too.” 

He smiled down at me before kissing my forehead and holding me tight. This was crazy, but it was the best thing that had happened to me lately. I could’ve stood there for hours if the time permitted such a thing, but we had to leave soon after. 

We got back to the house in one piece and it was only 10:00am. We were out for about 45 minutes, which wasn’t that long. I was starting to get kinda hungry, and I could tell that Justin was too by the way he went straight to the kitchen and looked in the cupboards. 

“What do you eat when you’re here?!” Justin yelled. 

I laughed, “I usually stop and get something on the way home.” 

“Well then we might as well go get something to eat then.” Justin laughed back as he shut the cupboards and grabbed his keys from the counter. 

“Don’t you wanna change?” I giggled as I spun around in my chair. 

“Why? You look cute in your pajamas- unless you care about what people will say?” Justin shrugged as he spoke. 

“Well you have to put on a shirt and then we can go, okay?” I laughed. 

He sighed and ran upstairs quickly, just putting on a white tank top. My outfit was just my pajamas, which were cute and I wouldn’t mind showing them off (and my amazing boyfriend) to the world. My shorts were actually the same pattern as Justin’s pajama pants, so I guess you could say that we matched. 

We walked outside and to his car and got in, heading to wherever he was taking us. I wasn’t sure, but as long as we were getting brunch or breakfast or something I was fine. 

We arrived at the restaurant and immediately got looks from everyone. We walked in, got our seat, and sat down; our waitress staring at us like we were crazy. We both ordered our food; me ordering French toast with whip cream and Justin ordering pancakes and bacon. 

“Happy Birthday, by the way.” Justin said. 

“Oh that’s right, you never said it yet, did you?” I laughed. 

He shook his head and we both laughed as we sat and talked about everything. It was nice just sitting here and having a somewhat normal outing. That was until we watched as a small group of girls around my age walked towards us. I looked up and smiled as they stuttered their words. 

“Can we get a picture with you guys?” One of them asked shakily as she held her phone. 

“Sure.” Justin said blandly as he scooted out of his seat. 

We stood on each side of each individual girl as we took each picture. Justin seemed different when he was talking to them, and I could tell that he was faking a smile and trying to act happy. It was very odd to see, especially because they were his fans. After they left, we ate our food and quietly left the little restaurant. When we buckled up in the car, I spoke up and turned towards him, stopping his hand from turning the key. 

“Justin, what was wrong today?” I asked. 

“Nothing, I don’t want to ruin your birthday with my problems. Let’s just go home and spend time together and we can-“ 

“Not until you tell me what was the matter.” I demanded. 

“I just hate how fans always interrupt everything. I mean I love them and all, but it’s your birthday and I kinda wanted to keep it private.” He confessed. 

“Well we did go out to eat in public, I mean it was kinda given that we’d have fans bug us. But I understand what you mean, and from now on let’s try to keep our relationship more private.” I giggled slightly. 

“Well I don’t want our relationship to be private, because then people will make up rumors and say things. Let’s just have a normal relationship.” 

“Agreed.” 

I laughed and so did he before I kissed his cheek and we pulled out of the parking lot and headed home. It was a normal drive and Justin was perfectly fine now. I thought that it was one of my best birthdays, even though we only went out to eat and it was only 2:00pm, I still had an amazing day. 

We sat at home, sitting on the couch and just chatting. Eventually, we decided to watch some TV and see what the news had to say about us today. Of course we were the first story; I was expecting it but not liking it. 

“On this day in history, (YN) (YLN) was born! How’d she celebrate it this year? It seems as if she took a calm way of celebrating the big 1-7. Earlier today, she and boyfriend Justin Bieber were seen having a little not-so-alone-but-secret time as they sat in a little café downtown, enjoying breakfast. The catch? They were in their pajamas! The adorable couple conversed with fans and kept it subtle as they celebrated. We were definitely expecting more, but that doesn’t mean that we won’t see it soon…” 

I laughed and turned to Justin who was smiling. The pictures they showed of us were adorable. I was glad that everything was going good. At least, for now…