Miles apart; chapter 4

Hello :-)
My life is very busy and shitty at the moment so I don't have a lot of time to write, I hope you understand.
Sorry this chapter is short, lease don't hate. Promise the next will be better and longer x



MILES APART

Chapter 4

"It's like I don't even know you anymore (YN)"
Justin's words were like knifes cutting through my heart. The first few warm tears strolled down my cheeks along with a black line of mascara.
"What are you talking about Justin?"
My voice broke and my breath hiked in my throat. His eyes were burning in to mine. I could feel his anger towards me. A sob shook through my body and I collapsed to the floor. Being with him what was I had been longing for for so long now and this was surely didn't how I wanted it to go.
"(YN).. I'm sorry"
His warm hand stroke over my back but I shook him off me. Getting on my feet I turned to look at him.
"I love you so much Justin. But over the last weeks you have done nothing but to make me cry. You could have come here and I would have taking you back right on that moment.. But no, you had to come and make states that you don't even know anything about. You and Niall are friends and I'd never do anything like that to you. I love you so much Justin, so much it hurts me physically, but how you just made me feel right now that's.... that's not okay"
I shook my head looking up in Justin's eyes. His eyes were pleading with sorrow.
"Please (YN).. I'm sorry for just making up things that wasn't true. I have been a fool and I'm so sorry.. Please (YN), forgive me?"
His hands reached out for my hands and I took them  in mine. They were so soft and fitted perfect with mine. I stroke my thumb over the back of hsi hand while giving them a little squeeze.
"I will eventually forgive you Justin. I just wish you would have given me a chance to explain. I know you feel sorry but I don't think you get how much you have hurt me the last weeks. You told me I was selfish, but think that over please.. who is the one being selfsih? I have kept my own dreams in the background over the past to be with you. But I also need a life, I need to follow my dreams Justin. And my dreams are in London. Maybe we just don't belong together anymore.."
With my last words his hands stifned in mine.
"Don't do this (YN).. We can work this out. I can quit my carreer! Please don't break up with me"
"Justin.. we both know you can't quit your carreer."
More tears were running down my alreay wet cheeks.
"You're so beautiful (YN)"
He whispered whiel stroking the tears away from my cheeks. I let him do it, need the feel of his touch on my skin.
"Maybe we should just take some time apart? To think all this over?"
I spoke, picking every word carefully. Justin bend over and rested his forehead on mine. For a logn time the only sound was our breathing. It was weird feeling his presence so near again, but it sure felt good. I felt protected and safe with him this near. He was my whole world, but right now he was causing me more damage than good and I wasn't sure I could cope with that.
"What do you say Justin?"
I broke the silence looking in to his eyes. Justin's gaze dropped to the floor where he moved his feet uncomfortable.
"If that's what you want. I just want you to know that I love you and I'll wait for you forever"
With that he turned his face up and locked our eyes. Brown orbs, soaking me in love and sorrow mixed together in a big mess.
"I love you too Justin but I need some time alone"
He nodded without more words. Letting go of my hands he pressed a soft lingering kiss to my forehead. I didn't say anything as he turned of the slow music to get his phone. No more words were spoken as he walked out the door. It closed behind him and I slid down to the floor. What had I done? Covering my face in my and small sobs started to escape my lips. I knew I wanted to be with Justin, but I also wanted him to understand how serious I was about my education. At some point I would have him back, but right now it was good with some miles apart..



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