falling for a fan: chapter 67 I..I don't know!?

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chapter 67: I..I don't know!?

Zayn's words had taken my breath away. My heart was pounding in my chest, my blood was making the adrenaline circle around my body and my head was spinning. His eyes were locked with mine, but I had no idea how to respond. He kept his eyes locked with mine, suddenly he realesed a sight. He pulled his hands away form under mine and turned to look at the view. He chuckled bitterly

ZM: I knew I should have kept my mouth shut...

YN: no no no! I'm glad you told me

I was glad he told me. Or at least I thought I was.. I actually didn't knew. RIght now I was just confused, confused about everything. I turned my head and looked at the view. I could feel Zayn's eyes burning on my skin. I knew it had taken him a lot of courage to say this, but how was I supposed to react? He said, it was like love at first sight. How do you respond to that, when you have a boyfriend?
ZM: what are you thinking?
His voice was soft. I could feel he cared about me
YN: I'm... I... I don't know
I turned my head and our eyes met. I got sucked in to the deep brown ocean. It was like getting soaked with feelings. I breathed out slowly, turning my head away. I couldn't talk when he looked at me like that. Like I was his whole world. Like I was the only thing he cared about
ZM: since i first saw you (YN).. *sight* I only care about you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing before I go to bed. I don't even know you for real, but it's like you're my whole world. I know it's a lot to take in, but I'm kind of glad you made me tell you. It's like a huge weight has been removed from my shoulders. I haven't told anybody, I'm afraid of their reaction, 'casuse yeah you know, you have a boyfriend..
YN: I do, yes
Zayn looked over the view as well. I was taking it all in. Letting the cold London air brush my skin as feelings rushed through my body. I looked down on my lap. My foot was broken, I was in London and a boy from the hottest boyband in the world had, almost, an obsession with me.. I HAD NEVER SEEN THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO NORMAL LITTLE ME..
YN: I just wished this had happened otherwise..
ZM: what do you mean?
Zayn looked at me with wrinkled eyebrows, he was gorgeous. Like he was beautiful, sweet, caring, funny, smart and a lot of other great stuff... but..
YN: Like you're so sweet, funny, smart, friendly and very handsome, but I have a boyfriend. At any other time I would have been head over heels to date you, but I love Justin. I love him from the bottom of my heart, and I can't dump that to date you.. I can't. You're an amazing guy, but I love Jusitn.
I tried with a smile. Zayn's face was like a stone. I couldn't read anything from the way he looked at me.
ZM: I understand (YN). I'd never get you to ditch Justin, don't think at me like that. I want to see you happy, and I know Justin makes you happy. Just remember, I'll always be here for you. I know we don't know each other that well, but we should get to know each other better, I'd really love that
He fixed me a smile
YN: I'd love that too Zayn. I really would
He leaned down and closed his arms around me. I laid my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. I wanted to let him feel that I cared. I cared about him, he was amazing, I just didn't feel about him the same way as he felt about me.. simply, but yet so painful. We broke the hug and he sent me a sad smile
ZM: I'll just have to wait for you I guess, I'll wait forever to have you in my arms
I gulped and tried with a smile. HIs words were so deep and sweet.
YN: you shouldn't. You should go out and find a girl that deserves all the love you can give her. Don't sit back and wait for me. Go find your perfect girl
ZM: I'm afraid you're the perfect girl to me (YN)...
His words hung in the air for a while, like a deep secret between us. My heart was pounding in my chest, causing my blood to rush around in my veins. He was so sweet, I could really fall for him. But I had Justin, I love Justin. Justin. Justin. Justin.
YN: Oh you don't know me Zayn..
A slight smile grew on his lips and he chuckled. A high scratch made both Zayn and I turn our heads over our shoulders. A head filled with curls popped out in the doorframe
H: here you are! Aye (YN) they're waiting for you, you're taking off
YN: Oh, I'll come now
I tried to turn my wheelchair, but it was quiet hard.
ZM: let me help you
Zayn got around me and pulled me backwards in to the flat. Harry was running around, being all hyped and I had to hold my stomach from laughing. I could hear Zayn's sweet chuckle fill the air behide me, which made goosebumps pop out on my skin.. what was happening to me? why was my body reacting like this to him!?¨
JB: there you are
We entered the entrance and Justin rushed over to me. A cheeky grin was playing on his lips and his cheeks were red. He leaned down and planted a kiss on my nose. I giggled
YN: what did they do to you Bieber?
JB: I'm just happy. We had a laugh
Niall's laugh came from the other end of the room and Justin laughed. I shook my head, what the hell? this boy was nuts! He brought a smile to my face.
HS: We'll see you tomorrow guys!
Holly waved and walked out the door. Andy and Hayden had their arms around each other and left with a wave. Chaz and Ryan followed them
YN: alright, see you tomorrow guys
They all lined up and gave me a hug each. Zayn as the last. He held me a little longer than the others, making my heart race. I pulled away
JB: bye guys
Justin pushed my wheelchair out and we heard LIam close the door behind us. We went to the elevator and joined in the others
HS: where were you?
YN: out on the balcony. The view from here is amazing
HP: you missed all the jokes
RB: those boys are hillarious
They all laughed and I felt kind of outside. We got back to the hotel and split in to our own rooms.
JB: what do you wanna do babe?
Justin bumped down on the bed. I rolled my wheelchair to my suitcase and found my PJ.
YN: sleep..
JB: ahh come on we should have some fun
Justin crept up from behind, laying his arms around my waist. I felt weird. I couldn't get Zayn out of my head. Justin rested his chin on my shoulder. HIs breath tickled my skin as he breathed
YN: I'm tired Justin
JB: why are you so weird? you were all quiet home in the car and now you wanna sleep?
Justin stepped back giving me a weird look. I shrugged and started rolling to the bathroom
YN: I'm just tired babe, sorry
I went in and changed. I brushed my hair, removed my make up and brushed my teeth. I came back out. Justin was standing right out the door. He went right past me without looking at me. I sighted and went to the bed. I couldn't take him being not supportive right now. I had a hard time controlling my feelings, he shouldn't make me doubt our relationship. I got myself covered in my duvet. A few moments after Justin came back in. I sent him a smile and he sent me one back. That was a good thing. He went over and laid down beside me.
YN: goodnight Justin
I tried to snuggle close to him, but he didn't react.
JB: goodnight.
He turned his back towards me and shut the light. I sighted and closed my eyes. I hate drama...



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