New Beginnings. Chapter 6: Does He Even Understand Me?

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I grabbed a blanket and Justin helped me drag a mattress into my room. I made him a little bed, right next to mine and after he changed into some of my brother's clothes, we both laid down.

It was completely quiet, there was nothing to say. My ceiling glowed down on both of us, lighting up our faces dimly.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7TH, 2012

I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the day. As I sat up in bed, I could feel the soreness all over my body. I ached, BADLY. I groaned a bit as I slipped my feet from under the covers and placed them on the cold wooden floor. I looked to my left to see Justin still sleeping, soundly like an angel. I just smiled and headed to the bathroom.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I went back in my room and Justin was still sleeping. I just shook my head and headed downstairs, closing my door behind me. I saw my mom sitting on the couch, curled up in a ball with her bathrobe on and her hair up. She had her coffee cup held up to her face as she turned to me and slightly smiled. I sat down next to her and laid my head on her legs.

"I suppose you want to talk to me." I said quietly as I stared off into the distance.

"Yeah," she sighed, "I'm just worried. I don't want this happening again. You almost got us all killed and I can't do that again."

"Mom, it was just a dumb mistake. I'm definitely not going to do it again, I think I've learned my lesson." I said as I sat up and looked at her.

I stared into her eyes. We were practically identically; especially right now. Our hair a mess, our droopy eyes, and neither of us were happy.

"I'm sending you to a private school."

I tilted my head and laughed a bit. She couldn't be serious: a PRIVATE school? What the hell was that going to do?

"Funny one mom, but seriously."

"I'm being serious (YN), this will help you focus on your grades and trust me; it'll help in the long run. You'll live with you're cousins, a few hours away, for the rest of your senior year."

"I'm not going to a private school, and I'm definitely not moving away."

"Yes you are, y-you don't have a choice anymore." she said, her voice stern as she set her cup down.

"How could you do this to me?" I said with tears in my eyes.

My mom reached out her hand to grab me, but I pulled away and stood up. I didn't even want to look at her anymore. She was making me give up everything for this; this one incident. I knew that it was a huge incident too, but school wasn't even in the situation.

"I think I can help." I heard a distant voice say.

Justin. Of course, he would try to get into this conversation. How could he help? I was just pissed and I didn't want to hear what he had to say either. I folded my arms as Justin stood in the wooden doorway and my mom sat on the couch.

"Justin this is not the right time-" I began.

"No let him talk. Maybe he can get you to cooperate." my mom said in a snotty voice.

I just glared at her before turning my attention back to Justin. What could he possibly say to make this conversation any better, like seriously?

"Well just throwing ideas out there. Mrs. (YLN), I know how you want your daughter to be safe-"

He paused and my mom nodded. I sighed and sat down on the opposite end of the couch from my mom. Justin came farther into the room, still talking about his great 'plan'. He looked from me to my mom then back to me.

"And (YN), I can tell how you really don't want to go to a private school-"

"Talk about it." I mumbled.

"Anyways," he continued, "one of my parents' good friends is a tutor, they tutored me while i was on tour and still in school. If (YN) came with me; I could get her proper schooling and she could finish out her senior year with me. She'd be away from this town, like you want, and she'd still be learning."

What? Did I hear that correctly? My lips slightly parted and I unfolded my arms. Go with him? On tour? Travelling? I mean it all sounded so much fun and all- but leave my friends and family behind just for school? But I wasn't worrying much in my mind, of course my mom wouldn't let me do something drastic like this. Private school was only a few hours away, I could still visit. But with Justin, there's no way...

"Justin, that's an amazing idea." my mom said as she stood up and wrapped her arms around him.

I stood up too and threw my arms up in the air.

"What?!" I said in awe.

She let go of him and turned to me, brushing her robe down. Justin slightly smiled at me from behind my mom, but I was NOT happy. How could he be smiling in a time like this?!

"Honey, this is a great idea. It'll keep you out of trouble and you'll get your homework done."

"Mom, I'm 17, turning 18 in January! I can take care of myself. I already get my homework done and I-I can keep my self safe."

They both stared at me. My mom folded her arms across her chest and leaned on one hip. Wow, they- well she, didn't trust me. My own mother, didn't even trust me enough to stay in the same town. She was making me leave my friends, my family, everything I had here.

I felt tears coming to my eyes and I pushed both of them out of the way and ran upstairs. My mom didn't budge but Justin yelled after me. I slammed my door behind me and ran to my bed, burying my face in my pillow and letting myself go. Can she do this? Can she just hand me off to a complete stranger like I'm a fucking dog or something?

"(YN)…"

I heard a light knock on the door and I knew that it was Justin. I didn't answer, just wiped away my tears and turned on my side. I laid my head back down on the pillow and turned my head away from the door, to my left. I realized that my doors to my little outside porch were open and I quickly stood and walked over to them. Instead of shutting them, I walked outside in the morning breeze and stood there, trying to catch my breath and think. The wind whipped my hair out of my ponytail and I just let it. I closed my eyes and stared out at the vast field before me. I could hear birds chirping, the wind through the trees; and I could smell the fresh cut grass.

Behind me, I heard the doors open and I could feel the presence of another. I kept me eyes closed and placed my palms on the ledge, leaning against it for support. Without opening my eyes, I could tell that Justin stood next to me being silent. We stood in silence for a few minutes.

"Ya know, all I wanted was for this to be over. For me to be sitting in my room with my friends, talking about boys and shopping. To sit in a regular classroom, staring at the clock waiting for that last bell to ring. And now it's all being taken away from me, just like that." I said.

I felt Justin's hand brush over mine and I opened my eyes and turned to him. He looked in my teary eyes and stayed silent. As much as I wanted to stay with Justin, I didn't want to go with him. I wanted him to leave and go back on tour and for us to talk once in awhile. Not for me to go on tour with him. It was like a love hate relationship I had with him, at least for me.

"It's not so bad-"

"How can you even say that? I'm being forced to leave my family and friends! How is that not bad? You can just have them fly out to you, I can't. That's what you don't understand, this isn't just a joyride for me." I yelled back.

I felt a bit bad for yelling at him, but I was more than pissed now. He's the famous one... he can have anything he want anytime he want. I can't. I don't think he understood anything I said...

Did ya like it? Well did ya? Comment for more!

-Ana.