Beneath Your Beautiful: 32: Hospitalised.

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Chapter 32:

December 3rd, 2012

4:00am

 

I shot up and bed, breathing heavily and sweating. My dreams lately had been so- so horrible. I had constant dreams of Charlie d-dying. This whole mom thing wasn’t getting any easier. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, checking in on my baby as I did every half hour I got up. She was still breathing, and I finally let out a breath.

“(YN), are you okay?”

I turned around to see Pattie awake and standing near behind me. Justin was still sound asleep on the couch like he had been most of the night besides when Charlotte cried. There was a night nurse who stayed in the room just in case but she just read her magazine and came in and out every so often.

“Fine, just worried.” I answered, sitting down and sighing.

Pattie found a seat next to me and rubbed my thigh. She completely understood it seemed like. “Don’t worry too much, the doctors say she has a- well okay chance of making it. Look at the brighter side, so far she’s doing great. With this progress, you can take her home in a few days!”

“Thanks Pattie.” I said hugging her tightly. “I just hope this won’t interfere with Justin and his career or anything. I’m making him go perform Jingleball tonight even though he wants to stay here with me.”

Pattie laughed and shook her head, she knew exactly how Justin was: persistent, very persistent. “When are you guys going to spread the news about Charlie? Not even the fans have figured it out yet, they just know that you’re in the hospital.”

“Soon, maybe in a few days when we leave this horrid place.”

I let Pattie lay back down and I did the same myself. I plugged my headphones into my phone and only put one in my ear just in case Charlotte cried. I turned on my music and kept it quiet. I was so glad at the moment actually, Charlie had gained quite a bit of weight in the past few days, and it was remarkable. I scrolled through my feed and tweeted for the very first time since I gave birth. @(yourusername): been in the hospital for a few days, I see all of the support. Thank you guys so much. I’ll explain things when things get better.

Plenty of replies came pouring in from people all around the world telling me that they were glad I was okay and everything. Giving birth wasn’t as bad as I pictured it, but it was definitely the most painful thing that’d ever happened to me in my life. Never again. Okay maybe a few more kids but that’s it.

I just closed my eyes when I heard the door creak open. I figured it wasn’t mine but it was. Being in a hospital sucked most of the time, you always heard sounds.

“Hey,” Harry said walking in.

I greeted him with a smile as I stood up and hugged him. Jeremy, Jazzy, and Jaxon all came running in right behind Harry. At least it was a quiet run, right?

“Sorry for coming so late, our flight just landed.” Jeremy apologized.

I looked behind me to see that Pattie and Justin were still sleeping. I hugged Jeremy before kneeling and hugging Jaz and Jaxo too. They seemed so excited to be here. They even brought along stuffed animals for me and balloons and a bag full of presents. I smiled widely.

“You have a baby?!” Jazzy whispered excitedly.

I laughed and picked her up in one arm and Jaxon up in the other. I told them to be quiet and I let them look at Charlotte. They both seemed so amazed and happy and they were definitely excited that I had a baby.

“Is it a girl? What’s her name?” Jazzy asked, Jaxon following with yeah.

“Her names Charlotte Bieber.” I whispered.

Jazzy smiled and Jaxon said, “I like that name (YN).”

I laughed and stood up again to talk to the adults now. Jazzy and Jaxon ran over to Justin and cuddled up next to him. Surprisingly, he still didn’t wake up. I just shook my head and turned back to Harry and Jeremy.

“So anything going on? How’s everything in the outside world?” I asked.

“Well some people think that you cheated on Justin with me and that’s why he’s in the hospital, and others are mostly clueless. So I guess you could say that things are pretty great.” Harry said.

I rolled my eyes. Of course people come up with some dumbass stories and things get nasty. People were just plain annoying; I couldn’t wait until they knew the real truth.

“Jeremy, would you mind taking a picture of me and Harry?” I asked as I handed him my phone.

“Sure.”

I posed next to Harry with his arm around me and we smiled. Then we took a few silly pictures just for the fun of it. I was going to keep this and make a scrapbook for Charlie when she got older. I took a few pictures of her and Harry next to her and the littles next to her too. This turned out to be more fun than I thought it would be.

After a while I laid back down in bed and to my surprise, Jazzy and Jaxon cuddled up to my sides.Jeremy just headed out to get us breakfast because it was already 7:00am and everyone was up except Justin.

“(YN), we got you a present!” Jazzy remembered as she scrambled off of the bed and ran to the bag bearing gifts. She came running back with a book in her arms, a children’s book to be exact.

“We got you this to read to Charlotte.” She said as she handed it to me.

“This is so thoughtful guys. Do you want me to read it to you too?” I asked.

They nodded and laid back in the hospital bed with me. I read it to them slowly and eventually they fell asleep on me. I set the book down and laid with them for a few minutes before I was interrupted.

“Awe,” Justin said as he stood up and stretched. He walked towards us and I couldn’t move so I just puckered and waited for him to kiss me, which he did.

“Here,” Justin said as he picked both Jaz and Jaxo up and laid them down on the couch.

I stood up and stretched, smoothing down my sweatpants too. Harry and Pattie were watching TV with the volume low and everyone was wide awake besides Jaz and Jaxon, obviously. I checked the baby quickly before turning my attention back to Justin.

“Anything new?” Justin asked as I fell forward into his arms. He caught me and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me up.

“Rumors, rumors, oh and did I say rumors?” I said.

He laughed and kissed my forehead, “It’ll all be over soon. When we leave this hospital, everything should be cleared up.”

I smiled and sat back down on my bed. Justin sat next to me and we talked and ate the food that Jeremy brought back.

“At least you can take your mind off of things when you go to Jingleball tonight.” I said to lighten up the mood.

“Ugh.” Justin groaned. “I don’t wanna.”

“Justin, don’t do this.” I warned him. “You have to go tonight at least, its right here in LA. You won’t be more than 5 minutes away from me and Charlie.”

“But-“

“And, you will be going to the rest of the Jingleballs too, okay? We already discussed this and after Jingleball is over, we can go on our first family vacay for the holidays with our new baby girl.”

Justin slightly smiled and let go of my hand. Justin was excited to spend time with her after Jingleball; he was just having a hard time with the fact that she might not make it. I was hoping and praying, but I couldn’t be sure either. Any minute she could…

I got worried and checked her again. She was completely fine it seemed like and the nurse was right there, nothing could go wrong, hopefully.

“Do you wanna take a walk with me? We can just stay in the hospital if you’d like.” Justin asked me to get my mind off of things.

“Sure, that’d be great.”

Pattie and Harry stayed behind and I slipped on a pair of slippers and Justin and I went for a walk. It was nice to have a break from sitting in the hospital room all day and night, that really did suck. Justin snuck his hand by mine and we intertwined our fingers, bringing us closer.

“I’m really scared that- that something bad is going to happen.” I whispered as I leaned on Justin. 
“I know baby, me too.” He whispered back.

We stopped walking when we got to the downstairs lobby. We sat in there for a few minutes just talking and chatting, deciding what to do now.

“Well, there’s a smoothie place down the street from here, if you wouldn’t care to go there.” Justin offered.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna get attacked.” I laughed.

“We got this; I called a car to wait for us outside.”

Justin took my hand and we headed to the doors of the hospital where people were packed outside. We pushed through the doors and through the people to the car waiting for us. I was trying my best to avoid all questions whatsoever but it was hard. They were yelling things like ‘WHY WERE YOU IN THERE?’ ‘(YN) DID HE HIT YOU?’ ‘WHY IS HARRY HERE?’. It was plain annoying if you ask me.

I turned around right before we got in the car and saw that Justin was flipping off the camera. I completely understood and followed along, doing the same thing.

“Leave us the fuck alone you assholes!” I yelled as I shut the door behind me.

I breathed out angrily and we took off. I had no care at all that that was caught on camera, someone needed to say it sooner or later. I’d rather it be me than someone else I guess.

We got our smoothies to go and finished them on the way back to the hospital, throwing them in the trashcans just inside. This time, the paparazzi didn’t bother us as much, but they still did.

We walked up the stairs laughing and slowly making our way back to the room. This was the first time I’d been away from Charlie, and it was pretty nice I gotta admit.

We neared the room and I turned to Justin and stopped him. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me close. Without any words, I looked up and pressed my lips against his. It felt amazing to have this time alone for once in such a long time it seemed like-

“HELP!”

Both of our eyes shot down the hall to the scream that interrupted us. I watched as nurses rushed out of a room pushing a tiny stretcher down the hall. The only noise that flooded my ears was the longing beep of a monitor. I dropped to my knees, screaming, dying.