Beneath Your Beautiful: 19: I'm Sorry.

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And OMG this chapter is freaking crazy! Can you handle it?! OMG you guys will love it... Just wait.

So 15 comments is the goal, but I'm not expecting them right away so whatevs(: but can you take the challenge?(;

Chapter 19:

Saturday, June 30th, 2012

1:13am

Justin’s POV

 

FROM: Harry

I know you probably think I’m trying to steal your girlfriend, but I’m not. All we did was talk about her mom and I tried making her feel better. I’m sorry if I did anything to make it seem like I was flirting or what not, but (YN) and I will always just be friends. Just don’t blame her, if anything blame me.

TO: Harry

I kinda overreacted to be honest, so I’m sorry. But thanks for explaining things, I’m not sure if me and (YN) are together right now but I’ll try to figure things out. Have a good night

I locked my phone and laid back and closed my eyes. I’m pretty sure I just fucked up my whole relationship…

I stayed out late but it was the only way that would help so that I wouldn’t come home and punch a hole in the wall. I had to admit, I kinda had anger issues in these situations, but it was only out of love. If that makes sense…

I grabbed my keys and shoved them in my pocket, opening the door and stepping into the garage. The boys had obviously already left so now I only had to face Ari giving me a lecture like girls best friends usually did after breakups. Was it a break up though? It wasn’t meant to be, but what if she thought so? I wasn’t mad anymore, but I could guarantee that (YN) was. I’d be if I were her, I just left and didn’t tell her why or anything.

I walked inside but every light in the house was turned off. I found my way through the darkness to the stairs and up them. As I walked down the hall, I saw that Ari’s room was empty and my door was shut. I slowly turned the knob to our room and pushed it open. It was pitch black and the only light was coming from the moon. My jaw tightened and I was hoping that (YN) was in here, because I couldn’t see.

I turned on the bathroom light and saw that Ari was laying in (YN)’s spot and in mine was (YN). They both were spread out across the bed, covers pushed off and at the bottom. I rolled my eyes and smiled, (YN) moved A LOT when she slept. It was adorable to find her in a different position in the morning.

I pulled the covers back over both of them and they stirred a bit. I stood at my side of the bed and looked down at (YN). She looked peaceful, besides the tear stains down each of her cheeks. I knew that it was because of me. I brushed her hair out of her face and bent down and kissed her forehead. Her eyes slowly squinted open and she looked at me warily.

“Justin?” she said weakly.

“I’m here baby.” I whispered.

“Am I dreaming?” she said as she drifted in and out of consciousness.

I laughed and sat on the bed, rubbing her thigh, “No, but get some sleep okay? I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

She seemed to not listen and she stayed awake longer, “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Well, Ari took my place tonight because I was being a complete jerk, I’m sorry.”

“Am I mad at you?” she asked as she closed her eyes again.

I thought for a minute. She wasn’t mad at me, but she should be, and she has a right to, “Yeah, you’re pretty mad. And I’m going to do everything to make it better okay? No more fighting or anything, we’re going to make it right.”

She smiled and cuddled back up into the pillow. I smiled and turned off the bathroom light before leaving the room.

-Your POV-

I slowly squinted my crusty eyes open and stretched up. The God damn light from the window just poured into the room. Ugh, this was not a good morning. Last night… last night was horrible. All I could think about was Justin and I could remember bits and pieces of him coming home.

I stumbled out of bed and down the hall, searching for Justin. The clock on the wall said it was about 9:07am. I rubbed my eyes and pushed open one of the bedroom doors. Justin looked up and stood up, pulling on some sweatpants. I swallowed hard and stared at him. Last night, he told me that I should be mad at him, but what was he talking about? Everything came flooding back into my memory, but I still couldn’t understand.

“Why am I mad at you?” I asked as I neared him. He sat back down on the bed and I found my spot next to him.

He placed his hand over mine on his thigh, squeezing my tiny hand gently, “Let’s talk over breakfast, I think we need to clear some things up.”

I weakly smiled and we both turned to the doorway just as Ari entered, “Am I invited?” she asked excitedly.

Justin and I both laughed and silently agreed, “Yeah.”

I left the room and Ari and I got ready together in me and Justin’s room. I just threw my hair up and put on a simple outfit to go out to eat in. I was praying that we could clear things up, but that meant that I might have to tell Justin about what happened, which I really didn’t want to do.

We left in the chrome colored Fisker and Ari was the only one who bothered to make small talk. For some reason, things just didn’t seem right. And I knew those things were about to get worse when Justin opened his mouth.

“What was it that you didn’t want Harry to tell me?” he asked quietly.

The car pulled up to a stoplight and I sucked in a deep breath, “It was nothing.”

“Don’t say that,” Justin tried to say without raising his voice, “I know you’re lying.”

“What do you want me to say Justin? I- I don’t want to talk about it. It’s just my mom.”

“I want the truth (YN). I feel like you’ve been using me and manipulating me and- and you’ve been lying to me! What about your mom? She’s in Europe isn’t she? Why does it matter?” Justin practically yelled.

“My mom’s not in Europe Justin, she’s here in California.” I confessed.

“Then what’s the matter!? Do you want me to drive you to her? We can go see her now if that’s why you’re upset! You know I’ll do anything for you (YN), just tell me the truth.”

“No! I can’t tell you the truth… it- I can’t talk about it.”

“Then you’re lying to me. I thought you could tell me anything, and everything, but you won’t. First your mom was in Europe, and now yourmom’s here!? Why would you stay with your dad if you could live with your mom?”

“It’s not that easy okay! I had to live with my dad because- just because!”

“Oh what? You can’t come up with a better reason than that? I’m sick and tired of you lying to me (YN), you have no reason to do this to me.”

I sat back in my seat and tears swelled up in my eyes. All I wanted to do was yell back and defend myself, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t defend myself because I had been lying to Justin, which I regretted the most.

“So it’s true,” Justin said when I didn’t reply, “You’re really doing this to me. You’re going to sit there and lie to me talking about your ‘mom’ but I doubt that anything you say is true seeing you lied to me before. You’re just making up lies, it’s all lies isn’t it!?”

“Justin it’s not what it seems like,” Ari butted in, “Can’t you just respect that she doesn’t want to talk about it?”

“Oh so now you’re defending her lies too? I’m so sick of this shit, just tell me the truth or I’m done.” Justin yelled.

We were still about 10 minutes away from our destination and I knew I wouldn’t make it. I slammed my hand down on the seat and sucked in a sharp painful breath, “Stop the car.”

Justin looked at me like I was crazy, “Oh so now you’re going to run away from your problems? Just great. I’m not stopping until we get there.”

“Stop the fucking car Justin!” I screamed.

He groaned loudly and pulled into a vacant parking lot. I knew that we were being followed by the paparazzi who followed us into the lot so I tried my best to make it quick and not a big scene. I stepped out of the car and went on the other side, Justin opening his door for me.

“Let me drive.” I demanded.

He tightened his jaw and I could tell that he didn’t want to attract any more attention than I did. He slowly stepped out of the car and went to the other side, sitting in the passenger seat. I buckled myself in the driver’s seat and set my hands on the steering wheel, taking deep breaths to calm myself.

“You don’t have to do this.” Ari said as she put her hand on my shoulder.

Without answering her, I pressed on the gas and pulled out of the lot. The car ride was silent, it was like everything flipped around once I took the wheel. Justin sat annoyed and hurt but I needed him to understand.

After driving for 45 minutes, Justin finally spoke up, “Can I at least know where we’re going? Because we past breakfast a long time ago.”

“15 more minutes.” I informed him.

He sighed and pulled out his phone, doing whatever he was doing. He had two phones, one for management and one for personal uses. I barely saw him use the management one, but he always kept it on him. At the moment, he was using his personal though, so I had no idea what exactly he was doing.

I knew we were getting close and my heart was beating crazily in my chest. In my rearview mirror, I could see Ari nervously biting her nails by habit. She was scared to see what was going to happen as well as I was. Justin was just sitting with a pissed look on his face as he typed away a thousand miles per hour. I breathed out slowly as we took a left and entered hell. Not literally of course, but for me. Justin looked up and locked his phone automatically. The blood drained from his face and he turned a ghostly white. I stopped the car completely, taking the key out of the ignition and unbuckling myself. Without any words, I got out of the car and walked around to Justin’s side, walking through the grass and stopping at a certain point. Justin stepped out of the car and shut the door behind him, he looked scared to be honest.

“Well you got what you wanted, the truth,” my voice cracked, “here is where my mom is.”

I pointed down towards the gray headstone about five feet to my right. Justin was by my side now, looking down. I closed my eyes and let tears fall, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Justin was kneeling down now and he seemed to be lost in a daze. I fell to my knees beside him and he caught me and pulled me in. My sobs grew louder and louder as we sat together and forgot about everything else.

“I didn’t know…” Justin kept repeating.

It was traumatizing to sit there, but I knew it’d be over soon. It was like hours before I finally found enough strength to stand up and hold myself together. Justin put his arms around me and he wouldn’t let me go. We swayed back and forth slowly and my tears soaked into his shirt.

“I’m so sorry I did this to you.”