Beneath Your Beautiful: 10: Mad.

Hiiiii! I'm posting again like I said I would so here you go(: I'll start posting once I get the amount of comments so that I know you're still reading! Leave any, ANY, questions below and I shall answer them allllllllllll!

Let's try for 6 comments on this chapter?(:

Chapter 10:

Friday, April 13th, 2012

Noon

 

I sat in the farthest back seats with Justin on my right and Ari on my left. We were ordering for all of these people and the people from the drive-thru of wherever we were, were not happy… I leaned my head on Justin’s shoulder and tried to just forget everything that happened earlier, but somehow it just kept coming back up somehow. I could tell that Justin was trying to change the subject every time to make sure I didn’t get upset. He was the best boyfriend ever hands down.

“Do you remember the first day we met?” Justin asked as he scrolled through something on his phone with his free hand, the other holding mine with our fingers intertwined.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well I don’t remember exactly what you said but you said that seeing you’re not famous and all of that, that you can't do what you want. Well you are famous now pretty much.” Justin pointed out.

He held up his phone and I looked at the video on my account that we uploaded the previous night. It had over 3 million views already! I could hardly believe it, I almost choked on a fry I stole from Aris breakfast.

“Oh my god…” I said quietly. Although I was surprised about the views, I was still thinking about what Justin had just said. I pushed his phone down away from me and looked into his eyes. “Justin, I don’t care about the fame, that’s not what I came into this relationship for, I came for you.”

He smiled and kissed my forehead. I sat back in my seat and drank my milkshake and laughed and talked with everyone else. I like when we all just chilled out and had fun, unlike… well you know what happened. We got back to Ashley’s house but soon enough, Justin and I left and headed back to our hotel. We dropped Ari off at the airport and I was sad to see her go but I knew I had to eventually. Hopefully I'd see her sooner rather than later. When we got back to the hotel, I felt a relief that I got to lay down and not think for a minute.

Peacefulness. Blissfulness. It was perfect while it lasted. I was the one who ended it though, so I could only blame myself. I shot my eyes open and turned on my side to look at Justin.

“But I do kinda want to put a video of my birthday on YouTube... And maybe a few others.” I said quietly.

He laughed and smiled at me, “Well, what are you waiting for.”

I jumped off of the bed and grabbed my laptop before sitting back down, leaning against the headboard. Justin helped me edit a short video of my birthday and we really did a good job.

“Aren’t you gonna put like a beginning where you introduce yourself and stuff? That’s what all of the other YouTubers do.” Justin asked.

“I’m not a YouTuber.” I laughed. “But I guess, Mr. Professional.”

I shrugged and recorded and small clip of me just introducing myself and telling a few things about myself before I cut it off and put the video in. The video really turned out and Justin seemed happier than me. I had a feeling that this was going to develop into something…

“You should start making videos, you’re good at it.” Justin suggested.

“I’ll consider it… but for now I just wanna focus on the good things in life.” I closed my laptop and gently placed it into the suitcase on the side of the bed. I laid back with Justin and stared into his eyes. “Like this, this is one of the good things.”

I pressed my lips against his and he smiled in between each kiss. I couldn’t help but giggle myself and mess around with him. I was genuinely happy.

 

Saturday, April 21st, 2012

11:00am

 

My eyes shot open and I felt energized as soon as I woke up. I pulled the familiar black covers back and did my usual morning routine. I brushed my teeth and left my hair down and wavy. I just threw on an outfit to wear seeing I was only going to be sitting around and watching. I put on a little make-up and rushed downstairs; I wanted to be there to be the first one to see what’s going down. I slipped on some shoes and flew out of the door with the keys in my hand.

I shut the garage behind me and pulled out of the driveway. I hadn’t driven in a while so I had to get the hang of this again. I went to shift gears and when I looked out of my window, my eyes collided with my dad’s. I pulled my sunglasses down from my head and put them on to cover my eyes. I zoomed down the street to get away from him and I was off to Caribou.

I ordered my favorite drink, and Justin’s favorite drink; well, one of his favorite drinks. He liked everything so it was easy to order for him and for him to still be pleased. I set them in the cup holders and let the GPS guide me to my destination. When I pulled up to the shoot, I parked in next to Justin’s trailer and looked around. There were people everywhere, but I only searched for Justin. When I stepped out of the car, I grabbed both of our drinks and walked towards the only person I knew; Fredo, who was sitting under a tent sipping on a coffee cup, it appeared as.

“Fredo!” I said as I approached him. I hadn’t seen him in about a week since we were in Florida.

“(YN), how are you?” he asked as he hugged me as best he could.

“Could be better, but I’m good! Do you know where Justin is?”

“He is currently over there shooting a scene.”

He turned and pointed over to Justin who was dressed in all black with gold shoes. His hair was slicked up like he had been wearing it usually. I had a feeling he was going to keep his hair like this from now on, it looked well on him anyways. Anything did, actually. He was filming the rest of his video today so I came to see the last of it as a surprise.

The music played in the background as he leaned against a car and sang the words to a girl leaning against him. Being his girlfriend, I obviously felt jealous… very jealous… but I just kept repeating the phrase ‘it’s just a music video’ over and over in my head. Because it was and this girl meant nothing to him. She was so gorgeous though… I just sighed and sat next to Fredo, patiently waiting for him to get a break.

“Alright, take five!” the director yelled.

Everyone seemed to chill out immediately and walk away to get a drink. Justin had no idea that I was here so I was glad to surprise him. He walked over to us slowly and I stood up, causing him to smile widely.

“Babe,” he said as he grabbed my and picked me up off of my feet, “You came.”

“Of course I did, and better yet, I brought Caribou.”

The smile on his face widened just a bit more as he spotted the cup. I just laughed and he set me back down on my feet. He took my spot next to Fredo so I just sat on his lap and drank my Frappuccino.

I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture of us together including Fredo. Yup, that was going on Instagram, it was actually a really cute picture of us three.

Justin left to go get touched up before shooting the rest of the video. It surprisingly didn’t take as long as I thought it would. I just sat there waiting but I wasn’t bored because I talked to everyone and took pictures and just made myself at home on set. I posted the picture on Insta saying on the set of #boyfriend #swag and it attracted a lot of attention.

When the shoot was over, Justin insisted we stopped by the studio so that I could hear his album. I was dead tired, but I agreed because I knew that this album meant everything to him. We arrived at the studio and held hands as we walked inside.

“Come on, come on!” Justin said as he dragged me down the hall.

He was like a little kid in a store who saw something that he liked. It was adorable and it woke me up a little bit more. We walked into the studio with Fredo and a few other people.

“Hey Justin, it’s kinda late, why don’t you just listen to it at home?” Fredo suggested.

I thought Justin would be upset, but he actually embraced the idea and agreed. Whatever made him happy, made me happy. We took a personal copy home and Justin was more the excited.

He drove us home and it was actually a quiet drive. Before anything, we laid in bed and talked about the small things, I even told him that I was a bit jealous of the girl that was the lead in his music video.

“You’re the only one for me and that’s not going to change, so you don’t have to worry.” Justin reassured me.

I smiled and snuggled my head into the crook of his neck. He started tickling me and I couldn’t help but push away from him but still get pulled back in.

“Are you ready for this?” Justin asked as he rushed to put the CD in the computer.

He downloaded the music onto his, well my iTunes account and we waited while it loaded. It got done quickly and Justin sat back and pressed play. The first song was called All Around the World, featuring Ludacris. It was about his beliebers, Justin told me. Next, Boyfriend, and then As Long As You Love Me.

“I think I want a music video for this one, I have an idea in mind.” Justin said as the song played.

“What would that be? This could have multiple messages, but it’s your choice. I'm thinking... something where the girl is just trying to fit in and you're trying to help her and you fall in love.” I gave a vast idea.

Justin put his hand under me and pulled me closer to him as we listened together. He looked like he was considering my idea, but I figured he had a better one. He looked lost in his thoughts as he pictured the idea for his version of the music video.

“You’ll find out eventually.” Justin said as he smiled to himself.

“Justin! I wanna know!” I said as I sat up halfway, my hair falling onto his upper arm.

“It’s a secret, and I want it to be a surprise.” Justin made a pouty lip.

“Fine.” I laid back down. I smiled to myself, thinking about all of the things it could be about. I had no idea what it could be about, I didn’t have any clue at all.

We listened to mostly the rest of the album but we didn’t finish the last few songs. I was dozing off and so was Justin, so I knew I’d start thinking about things like I usually did at night. Suddenly, pictures started flashing in my mind, of earlier today. Should I tell Justin what happened? It’s not that big of a deal, I thought, but I bet he’d like to know. And plus, he’s sleepy, he probably won’t remember tomorrow anyways.

“I saw my dad today.” I whispered quietly.

Justin shifted under me and I could tell that he felt uneasy. I heard him take a deep breath but I didn’t bother looking up at his face, I was too scared to. He was probably upset about it. He had been blaming himself for me not being able to have a dad anymore since the whole incident, and it sucked because it really wasn’t his fault.

“He was getting the mail and- well you know. I left right away to come see you anyways.” I took a long pause but I had to continue speaking. “But can you promise me something?” I asked.

“What?” he quietly replied. Well I knew that he was listening now.

“Please don’t cross paths with him. I just don’t want either of you getting hurt.”

Justin swallowed but this time I was looking into his eyes. I felt like justin would hurt my dad, but I honestly had no idea what kind of power my dad held. He stared blankly away and I waited for a sweet reply like ‘I won’t babe, I know that you’re hurt so don’t worry’. I figured he would say that he wouldn’t cross paths with him, because that’s what I wanted especially in this situation, but he didn’t. The words that came out of his mouth scared and infuriated me. I wasn’t too happy with him after he said it and I wasn’t sure what to think anymore. I scooted back to my side of the bed and turned away so that he couldn’t see that I was mad. Justin reached and turned off the lamp, signaling that it was definitely time to end this conversation and go to bed.I let him cuddle up behind me but it just wasn’t right; I was pissed and he didn’t know, so I fell asleep that way. They say not to do that, go to sleep mad, but when your life is this fucked up it’s hard not to. Those three words that echoed my mind aimlessly, they damaged me, somehow, in an unexplainable way.

“I can’t promise.”